Intermission

I decided to use Seattle for my missed connections fun today. I did this for 3 reasons; I don't know that much about Seattle, logic dictates that rainy weather creates more missed connections and I don't know that much about Seattle.

Sexy girl at work. Name starts with N. - m4w (Bellevue)

I see you every day and just want to pull down your tight jeans and bend you over. We make eye contact often, its very sexual.

You wore black jeans and a white shirt today. Let me know if your interested by replying with what color shirt I wore. 

Now I'm not saying that other missed connections aren't pointless, because, por lo general, they are. But this is so goddamn pointless it's making my brain hurt. You work with this person. You see them EVERYDAY. So this connection isn't missed, you're just a lame ass who can't sack up and tell the girl you work with that you want to rape her at work.

Vodka Girl at Patrick Stewart Panel - m4w - 22 (Comicon)

You came and sat beside me in the hall before Patrick Stewart's panel. You were a little tipsy and even offered me some vodka. Then we went into the panel together with your friend (boyfriend?)
Anyway, I'm glad you decided to talk to me. It was fun hanging out with you for that little bit (even though the minions wouldn't dance). I'm sorry I had to leave right after the panel and didn't say bye. 

It might just be my imagination, but I can't help picturing this guy just plumbing the depths of nerdiness. Not just because he's talking about a Patrick Stewart panel at Comicon. That would be assumptive and rude and I'm neither of those things stupid asshole who is reading this right now. It's the way he writes and seems genuinely excited that a drunk girl sat next to him and talked to him. And when people put the "boyfriend?" tag in there, it makes me sad. Because I know they're thinking it was but REALLY hoping it wasn't. Anyway, my nerdy friend, forget about her. Vodka Girl doesn't remember you and probably sadder still, she doesn't remember the awesome Patrick Stewart panel.

To the girl who used to give me blowjobs all the time - m4w (Ballard)

I miss you! I wish you'd never met that stupid boyfriend of yours. He ruined everything. Let me know when you dump him! I am waiting patiently ;)

Ha! Hahahahahaha....oh....ha. Oh, man. Hahahahaha. Okay....ha. Alright. That's hilarious. 

Met you at goodwill 6th ave - m4w

I spoke with you at goodwill today and you are from alaska.... Would like to see you again.

And the response:

re; i met you at goodwill - m4w

yah we talked. but i have a boy friend im a needle junkie meth and herion so you really want nothing to do with me im a mess my name is jamie 

You see that? What was their exchange at goodwill that enticed this guy? What could they have talked about that made him blind to that fact that she though she had spiders under her skin? Because I hope to fucking god I could spot a meth and heroin junkie. And really, she could have left it at "I have a boyfriend." She could have done that. That was a sufficient rebuff. Or, she could also tell him that she's a junkie and he should want nothing to do with her messy ass. She could do that.

See you on the flip side and have a good one. Make it so.