Lettuce in the Club

Today, on the 1st of March, I'm learning to be less judgmental. As a wise man once said, before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. Today's missed connections go out to all my Miami peeps. Bask in the glory that is your city...

LA Fitness, CG - m4w - 3 (33ave & CW )

I hate to say it but..., I watch you. I can't help myself, it's actually very annoying. I find you to be so attractive, me and all the other guys in the gym I'm sure. But it's not only the way you look that appeals to me, it's watching you work out. You look great and you're not there messing around, you know what you're doing and you do it all well, with form and precision. Then it's how I see you come off. Even though you're not there chit-chatting with people you're also open to those who approach you and not hesitant to approach others; and it's the way you speak to people.... You just come off , I don't know, how can I put it, very down to Earth in spite of anything I guess I'd say.

I often find myself so close to you, less than 5 feet. And no, I'm not following you around that gym, you always appear near me. Have I simply been that lucky? lol

I've seen you so many times and have even come to learn when I might expect you to arrive on a given day. Yet, I find that even though I've been close enough to study the smooth texture of your shoulders that I have not found a moment to stop at say hi. Why? Several reasons, starting with the fact that I suspect you're not older than 25 making me considerably older than you. Add the intimidation factor on top of everything else and.. Well, you know..

You always wear a tank-top fitting shirt, that exposes your shoulders and, therefore, the tattoo you have on your back closer to your right shoulder. You always pick up your dark brown hair and wear tights. 

Sorry about the length (that's what she said....ew) of the post, but it's pure gold. If you didn't read the whole thing, you're missing out. At the Creep Olympics, this guy would be pulling down all 10's and John Waterses, And here's a thing, if you hate to say something, especially a long stalker thing, then don't fucking say it. This guy is trying SO HARD to not sound like a stalker. By "so hard" I of course mean not at all because he says things like "I've been close enough to study the smooth texture of your shoulders." What I really like is the description at then end. That girls works out at MY gym. I'll introduce you!

So you like to watch? - m4w - 50 (broward)

You pulled up along side of me while I was masterbating. You had a big smile, We pulled over and you parked next to me while I finished. You seem to enjoy it. Smiled and pulled away. I would love to do this again. Tell me where we pulled into. Know this is a long shot but you never know. If anyone is curious send me an email. Private and safe. No exchange needed. Any age, looks and rac not important. Love to do this....  

Wait...what? Is this guy jerking off and fucking DRIVING?!? I should send this guy an e-mail because I'm curious as to why he's driving and pulling his pud. Why do it while you're driving? The logistics! The LOGISTICS! Won't someone think about the logistics?!?! I will never understand this world in which we live. He then goes on to tell this lady that he likes that she watched him and wants to do it again. You know with her, or literally ANYBODY ELSE. "Any age, looks and rac (sic) not important." Brilliant.

Revolotion/Dark Star Orchestra - w4m

Adam-talked at the concert, I had to move through the venue to connect with friends. If you can tell me who I was there with, email before 6 p.m. Wednesday 

"email before 6 p.m. Wednesday" This was posted at 1 a.m. Wednesday morning. I guess this girl's biological clock is attached to a bomb.

Looking for Rick Ortiz - w4m - 34 (Miami)

Ok, I met you the other night in Homestead. I can't get you out of my mind. We had such chemistry and such passion, it was out of this world. That shaved head, that trimmed beard, that outrageous smile, your charisma, that charm had my panties soaked. All of my friends were wanting you to. I know this is a long shot, but I heard it works sometimes. I'm Jackie, we talked and laughed the other night at Karaoke in Downtown Homestead. I'm a brunette, petite, green eyes, and about 5'8. Tell me what I was wearing, and what I did with your drink. I hope this finds you, and I hope you answer me, cause it seems like I'm not the only one looking for you, your a hot commodity, I just wish we would've exchanged numbers.

Rick. Fucking. Ortiz. You smarmy mother fucker. He'll charm the pants off of you, ladies! "Tell me what I was wearing..." I hope she was wearing a denim skort and she shoved his drink up her ass. Because that's how Rick Fucking Ortiz rolls. He trims his beard, he gets panties wet and he drives women to the point where they'll put jack and cokes up their asses.

Have a good weekend, folks. Be sure to disarm those biological womb bombs.