No Nose Job

So I was at a bar last night. Struck up a conversation with a guy who was, let's say, verbose. Nay, dude was downright chatty. My friend was bartending (She's a girl) and another patron left some bar nuts on the bar. Talky guy says, jokingly, "Put those nuts in your mouth." to my friend. Other bartender (He's a guy) tells him that's not cool and then tells him to apologize. Guy doesn't apologize, things get heated and chatty mother fucker gets kicked out of the bar.

The point of this story is, don't leave uneaten bar nuts on the bar. Second point is sometimes people narrowly miss a real connection and I like to make fun of that.

MWM SEEKING TRIO - m4w - 50 (WEST COVINA) - 50

shhhhh privacy please
no one needs to know but us
NSA relationship
great at oral love to please woman
you must be able to host - home or hotel
drug and disease free
no drama no games no web site come ons
age race not importanmt
interested drop me a line
include a photo and a note about you
photo gets photo 

Aaaaahhh. I cant stop giggling. "shhhhh privacy please" Shhhhhhhhhhhh. This makes me feel like everything that follows is whispered. And that "NSA" means National Security Administration. "great at oral love to please woman" I mean COME ON. How can you doubt this guy's oral skills (or skillz)? He doesn't even care about your age race! This guy is a fucking CATCH.

LA FITNESS WILSHIRE SKINNY BRUNETTE - m4w - 26 (LA FITNESS WILSHIRE) - 26

You were sitting on a machine and talking on the phone for like 15 minutes.
I was working out and then your friend came and you started training with him.
I looked at you but when i finished my training and wanted to talk to you you were with your friend.
If you realize who i am and you are single please send me back and lets see if we noticed each other.
Thank you. 

 

Thank you? I don't get this guy. If I had to guess, I'd say he has a personality disorder. And he's a furry. And he calls working out "training" which makes me think he has a furry personality disorder. Egh...my commentary sucks. I'll try harder on the next one.

 

long legs on the purple line wilshire/western - m4w (purple line)

You glanced at me a couple times, you had legs for miles, and tattoos all over them and you were wearing a brown hat and brown boots, 3 or 4 inches. Very attractive woman. I noticed you. You exited train at MacArthur Park. If you see this you will know who I am..

Tell me something that you remember about me. :-) 

 

I applaud this poster. His post is actually quite descriptive. So descriptive, in fact, that saying "I noticed you." is completely fucking asinine. Of course you fucking noticed her, you twat. You described her in a post on a forum meant to let people know that you noticed them. "If you see this..." There's always something foreboding when someone says you'll remember them, especially when they end it with an ellipsis.

If you went to Anime LA 2013.. - m4w - 25 - 25

If you went to Anime LA 2013 and couldn't make the Otaku Speed Dating event or didn't meet any good guys there, shoot me a message. ;)

Man, this guy is casting a wide fucking net. I'm going to start posting things like this. "If you were at Denny's last night and there were no keepers, hit me up!" WINK. "If you've ever taken a breath or thought about taking a breath and you haven't found your soul mate, drop me line." WINK. Anyway, I sure hope this guy finds his own personal Sailor Moon or Cowboy Bebop. 

Catch you on the flip-side my friends.