Purplebrainhurrycanehabit

Has it been a week already? No. No, it hasn't. But it has been long enough that I felt like delving into some more missed connections. We'll call it a Craigslist week. Like a New York minute or a Cocke, Tennessee hour. Without further ado...

Sylvia from LA.. music talks - m4w - 30 (Vancouver to LA)

Hey there,

Hoping someone could help me out here...
Looking for a gal named Sylvia, Last name i won't post for privacy issues but starts with an "R".
What I know from her is that she deals with Vintage art and was recently here in Vancouver BC for business.
anyways, you came into my work, had some seafood and oysters...we talked about EDM music and exchanged some songs.. good chats and good vibes. Not looking for more than friends or anything like that! 

 you were just cool and I'd like to keep in contact with you...
so anyways if anyone could help me out, here I am and please send me some info if you know of her... Again her name is Sylvia R.

Foxes - Youth - Adventure Club Dubmix

C 

I'm pulling for this guy, because from what I gathered from his desperate attempt to reconnect with this girl, he's hanging by a thread. "Last name..." Here are the vitals: he knows her first name, last name and where she lives. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume she wasn't wearing a burqa which means he probably knows what she looks like. And he was able to post something on Craigslist, so he knows that the internet exists. Short of hiring a private detective I think he's fucked here. No way to find her. Ever. "...seafood and oysters...we talked..." The phrasing here makes it seem as though she just wandered in with a sack full of seafood and oysters and then started chatting him up about Calvin Harris or Madeon or Bobby McFerrin. Whoever the kids are listening to these days. And this is the real cherry on the cake: "Not looking for more than friends...". Well, ho-ly shit. This is what I'm talking about. If he doesn't find this girl I see a spiral of depression in his future. "Foxes - Youth - Adventure Club Dubmix" I'm going to pretend that all of those are his hobbies.

DONE WAITING [ GET READY ] (SHOCK TOP)

well I have something to tell you it a new year and I have to get on with life you see life is short it doesnt last as long as we want it to and there are things I have to do before my life is over the first thing is I have to be with you I have to be your man you have to be my lady we have to be one working together as a team a gang of two blood in blood out you know this and so do I but if this is not what you want then you need to stay away from me becouse I am going to do every thing I can to make this happen it will happen i know this just letting you know that iam done messing around no more games life is not a game this is real so get ready here i come 

Life IS short. Too short for punctuation or a single coherent thought. Getting past the rapey vibe flying off this whole post, I think deep down this person really cares for the other person/thing that this message was intended for. "blood in blood out" And when I'm reaching out to someone, I always make sure to reference at least one early 90's movie with Benjamin Bratt in it. (Although it's usually Demolition Man) "...becouse" Oooooo! Pas francais! "...so get ready here I come" Yeah...rapey.

Bed bath & beyond.. We talked in line - w4m - 23 (Bed bath and beyond, Santa Monica )

Well here goes nothing... First off your a babe and I'm painfully shy. We were talking in line after some guy got extremely concerned I was trying to cut. You and I laughed it off and you said you could tell I was a line cutter. When you left you said bye and I didn't really know what to do. Chances of you reading this are slim to none but I would love to see you again. Tell me what you bought so I can tell its you.

 Well here goes nothing... You fucking summed it up right there, didn't you, lady? "...some guy got..." I'd like to see what this extreme concern looked like. Because my guess is he said "You're not cutting in line, are you?" and that was the end of it. Did he wring his hands and cry a little/a lot? Whatever. "...I didn't really know what to do." Hopefully you said "bye" in response and then moved on with your life oh wait you didn't because here we are. People often do this. The "I was unsure what to say" or "didn't know how to respond". Is being a person so difficult? Is it actually that hard to just respond to stimuli in your environment? I'm really asking here, because if it is I've never noticed and don't want to miss any opportunity to seem like a super-human because I can say "bye" to someone attractive. "Tell me what you bought..." It was a Brita or picture frames. If it wasn't a Brita or picture frames then he's an odds on favorite for being married, in a serious relationship or gay. No single straight man has ever gone to Bed, Bath and Beyond for anything other than these two things. Think I'm being unfair? FUCK YOU.

Check back next week for more fun! Didn't have fun? Check out my other project: I hate you.