The Danger Zone

I've missed all of you. Especially YOU. I just realized I never explained why the missed connections blogs have the titles they do. Bonus points if you can figure out how they're connected. Now add that to your total. Now subtract 10. Is this your card?

Randy Rogers Concert - w4m - 29 (Troubador) - 29

We two stepped at the Randy Rogers concert last night. I was with two friends and (perhaps unkindly) brushed you off. Sorry. Maybe you'll see this, and maybe we can grab a drink. I'm an attorney. You work in _______________ (fill in blank if it's you). -Kim

This really chaps my ass. I mean REALLY. The nerve of this girl. You know what Randy Rodgers Concert guy? You tell Kim to cram it up her ass. What a bitch. Besides, Craigslist apologies are the most empty kind; apart from blog apologies. Kim, can I talk to you over here for a sec? I'm sorry about calling you a bitch. I love the guessing game at the end, though. You work in...Los Angeles! a slaughter house! abortion jokes into every conversation!

Open your blinds - m4w (Nearby)

I need some cheap thrills of you :p still think you should find an excuse to come over or better yet have me over!!!

Jesus. On a scale from 1 to Creepy As Fuck, this rates a Stephen King. The location is "Nearby" for shit's sake! And three exclamation points? I see a big sappy cinematic ending in this guy's future. What a fucking creep. I'm sorry, creepy guy. 

in whole foodz you caught me staring at your breasts - m4w (west hollywood)

so i have to 'fess up; i also was taken by how great your ass looked in the yoga(?) pants you were wearing. you really are an incredibly hot woman, ya know? of course you know.

when you turned around and gave me that wry smile, you gave me a sensation that i felt in the knuckles of my toes. i want that feeling back.. so in the off chance you see this, and you're willing to give it to me, then please write.

Who says romance is dead? Who? Was it you? It was you, wasn't it? You made a boo boo. The Boo Box. Ladies, does this work? The whole "I got that special feeling in my toe knuckles" come on? Fuck opening doors for you. Let's just go down to the whole foodz, buy some breadz together and have a breadz and cheeze party, am I rightz? Here's a guy who is so goddamn confident the only part of this he's slightly unsure about is whether or not the pants she was wearing were actually yoga pants. I'm sorry...yoga pantz.

Amoeba on 1/21 - m4w - 21 (Amoeba Hollywood) - 21

I saw you by the rock records and then again later on at the books section. You were very attractive! I should've told you in person though.

No shit.

At McDonald's - m4w - 29 (Santa Monica CA) - 29

You were siting all alone across from me Wearing Black Pants and a gray top.

You Sneezed and I said Bless You. You said thank you. I wish I would have gotten your name and number.

I was wearing Jeans and a White Polo Shirt.

Well if you see this id love to get together with you. 

Is there such a thing as being TOO optimistic? I say yes. But when love is blossoming at Mickey D's, what's a person to do? "I wish I would have..." This is why I make it a habit to respond to any sneeze with "You're hot. What's your name and number?" This ensures that you don't miss any opportunities. Is there such a thing as being TOO cynical? I say no. Sorry.

You have a safe and happy Wednesday and I'll see you when I see you. But only if you open your blinds.