Digital Lover

Yo! We all watch that Super Bowl? Don't worry. There will be no follow up questions. I was perusing ye ole missed connections and I gotta be honest, there are a lot of MVP's. Case in point...

waisted time.!! so stupid....?? - m4w (here wanted to be there)

Ok... I like to read missed connection.. sometimes but its stupid ... How you can waisted time written to someone who you can tell everything in person... Helloooo....
I know is a game ... But f*$$ ist stupid... I you love somebody fight for the love ... Easy.. when both person are in common love... If not ... Another long way for walk away .... I still in love ... But i cant go for it....
:-( she dont love no more ... So i cant do nothing... You had the chance to tell her/him..how much you love him/her.. do it... Dont be stupid.  

This read like a mentally challenged kangaroo's poem. "Another long way for walk away..." But really what caught my eye is that they're really championing not being stupid. They're essentially ragging on people who write on Missed Connections, just like me! But they're doing it in the most incoherent, stupidest way I've ever seen. Waisted time, indeed.

White guy crossing residential street - m4m - 25 (West Covina Valley View)

I was driving down Valley View in my silver Pontiac. U are a white guy wearing a beenie white t and black basketball shorts. I seen that meat flopping around. God damn it looked good. I was gonna turn around but i didn't want to be a creeper. If u come across this let me know what u were carrying out to u car. ;) 

This is something I find when I come across the men looking for men missed connections; they're much more forward. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but goddamn you can't in one breath talk about his meat flopping around and then say "but i didn't want to be a creeper." That shit don't jive, know what I'm sayin' blood?

Glendale elevator - m4w (Glendale Brand Blvd)

We rode up the elevator this morning (Friday) and I thought made an eye connection. You are a tall beautiful girl (Asian) I think you got off on the third floor but I stayed on but you game me a very nice smile as you left. You were talking to another girl on the elevator and very excited about something.

This guy lacks confidence. And also the ability to know if he makes eye contact with someone. I guess he said "eye connection", which I'm assuming is like eye contact, only more racism from Gene Hackman. "...very excited about something." Maybe, and this is a shot in the dark, she was excited about getting off the elevator with the shady guy making eye connections.

I'm going to pare down this next one because HOLY SHIT he wrote a novel, but it's still a gem.

DOUG'S SUPERBOWL PARTY, YOU ARE THE MANAGER OF A GIRL NAMED ELIZABETH - m4w - 28 (Sun Valley)

The chances of you seeing this are about the same as the chances of me ever writing one of these... You are the manager of Elizabeth, and you and her are in the works of trying to get together a TV series about ghost hunting. We also talked about how TV is more profitable than movies these days...  I went inside and hung with my friends for a bit by the stripper pole... you danced the most amazingly graceful and classy yet still incredibly fucking sexy dance on the pole to Ella Fitzgerald... while specifically looking at me the whole time, and shaking your butt in my face at one point. One of my friends was in the middle of a heart-to-heart talk with me, so I could not break the conversation too quickly without being incredibly rude to her. But by the time I could safely break the conversation and get ready to walk over and finish up talking with you, your friends had already said "let's go" to you... Damn fucking shame... It will be a straight up miracle if i find you on here. Hopefully if not here, I will see you again at one of his next parties. One great regret of recent times now is not having caught you even at least a minute before you took off, so I could get your name and your number. You'll stick in my memory, mystery girl...at this point I wish I at least had a name. 

Right out of the gate I'm going to have to ask that you NOT YELL AT EVERYONE. It's the internet...we can all hear you. "The chances of you seeing this..." I'm going to do some quick math here: he DID write a missed connection, so the chances of him doing it are 100%. So he feels 100% confident that the girl will see this. Bravo. And there's a stripper pole at this place. I applaud you Doug. Now, this next part is crucial so try and keep up. Let me set the scene: he's standing there having a heart to heart with a friend of his. This conversation is so deep and important he can't just walk away for 2 seconds. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Manager Lady is shaking her ass in his face. This is a sad story that needs to be told. Epic in it's scope and leading up to a great regret of our time. A straight up miracle indeed.

See you around the internet campfire, kids.