It's been exactly one million years since I posted a blog, and even longer since I posted a missed connections blog. So here we are. I hope I haven't lost my edge, and I hope you haven't lost your appetite for pathetic people being pathetic.
Once more into the fray!
You work at Pie Hole and your name starts with a...... - m4w (Arts District DTLA)
...R....
I hope this find you well. I could not help but notice your sweet smile
and when I saw you walking through the farmers market, it was your
amazing shape that caught my eye. Then I was face to face with you and
you were all smiles and very nice. I know it is part of your job to be
nice, but, your smile had me wanting more....I Wish I was able to stop
time and we could be there....to enjoy the time. If you find
this....please tell me your name (so I know it is really you, and I may
have another question to make sure....Hope your night was well. Am I a
bit weird for this.....first time doing this ever....:) If you know of
the gal I speak of...please pass this on to her.....She has glasses,
very cute, lovely smile and works behind the counter.....Ugh. I'm away for a long time and then this is the shit I come back to. Well, let's do this. For starters "I hope this finds you well" is how you END a Civil War era letter, not how you start one. I just hope she got over her case of dropsy. Moving on, "I wish I was able to stop time..." You are a poet. You really are. I want this to be worked into my eulogy when I die, which if I was this guy would be right now, because I'd shoot myself in the goddamn face. "If you know of the gal..." Here's a pro tip: YOU KNOW THE GIRL. You know where she works, you chicken shit. YOU pass it on. Write her a poem. Here's your first line: The light doth casteth off thine name tag that I can clearly fucking readeth, yet I findeth fear in my heart because I'm a pussy. That one's for free, buddy.
Missed Israeli Connection - w4m - 32
I am sorry. You were the best lay ever. Your very personality was
sexy. I did you wrong. I am a jealous person. I miss you. Sad.
Looking for Ms. Molly
Hoping to pick up Ms. Molly. If you know where I can find her, hit me up at nine 0 9 7one six three2.
I'll be at commerce casino.
Thanks. What's that? A sad bastard looking for MDMA at commerce casino? Say it isn't so...
Beautiful girl with pink plugs working at UCLA dining hall - m4w (UCLA)
I was at the dining hall when I saw you working at the flatbread
section. You had beautiful eyes and pink plugs. I was wearing an orange
sleeveless shirt, you walked by me while I was sitting, I wanted to say
hi but I was with my girlfriend, we are actually breakinf up soon cause
she's moving. I'm hoping maybe I'll have another chance to talk to you.
I'm hoping you see this and message me lol
Does a smile creep across the face of anyone else when they read this? Because it is ridiculous. Yet another "Woe is me, how will I contact this person that I know where they work" posting. But that's not what made me smile. The "I was with my girlfriend, we are actually breakinf (sic) up soon cause she's moving" part. That made me smile, because this guy is so goddamn stupid. Why include that? That is not important information. At all. I imagine him typing the part about having a girlfriend and then thinking "Oh shit! I shouldn't have put that. I better explain why I have a girlfriend but it's okay for me to be propositioning another girl.... Phew. Dodged a bullet there." Just delete it, dude. And there we have it. I'll try to do two of these a week from here on out. I'll never let you down again.
