Happy Independence Day Eve Times!

The eve of our country's independence is upon us! Here's a little something to get you in the mood:

Know what else will get you in the mood to celebrate all your freedoms from tyranny, both political and societal? Reading some Craigslist missed connections and seeing what real freedom of speech is. Olè!

Behind Crazy Harry's... - m4w (Winnetka)

It was a few years ago. You were short and curvy with dark hair and glasses...I fingered you in the parking lot behind the bar and you told me you loved it without condoms as we kissed and I rubbed your clit... 

 

Whelp! There it is! There it fucking is. Right in front of your face, staring at you with its brazenness. At this point, why bother describing the person? It's been a few years, sure, but how many times can the person you're looking for possibly have been fingered by a stranger behind Crazy Harry's? Here's a pretty useful life hack: if the answer is more than once, then you don't want to meet up with that person again. Ever. And if you're not trying to meet up with them, but merely reminiscing in the worst way possible, just write it in your goddamn gournal.

 

 

you work for at&t and ur name is Noah - w4m (Burbank)

If anyone knows him ask him if he had any missed connections lately at work. My phone deleted his number from when he called me to let me know he was at my apartment to install a router. We had this chemistry I can't stop feeling since the second we met.

Crossing my fingers he replies to this with my real name. 

 

Ugh. Just call AT&T and ask for your technician's number or some shit. Or tell them there's a problem with your router and you want that specific person to come by. Or just let it go and move on with your life. Or switch to Time Warner and fall in love with THAT guy (That's a joke. DO NOT SWITCH TO TIME WARNER). Or go out to a bar and meet someone. Or go online and make a dating profile and meet someone that way. Or just give up and be alone for the rest of your life. Whatever you do, don't type "ur" ever again. It makes your ass look HUGE.

 

2 young guys in Resturant getting food to go - m4m

You guys were getting food to go today around 11:15 at a place on redondo between 4th & 7th street.

We spoke and you knew I was checking you guys out. Don't know if you are a couple. Would love to hang out with the 2 of you sometime. Maybe more if the vibe is right.

Tell me what you did before you left so I know it's you.

Hope to hear from you.
I am on grinder and jack's dad4son56

 

Is...is "dad4son56" the guy's name on Grindr? Because that's fucking disturbing. God DAMN that's disturbing. I hope what they did before they left was pay for their food, because that would NOT be cool. And let's be real here, the whole " We should hang out and MAYBE more if the vibe is right" line is TOTAL bullshit. Just say "I want to make love to your face, son." It's much less disingenuous.

 

LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AT FRIDA - w4m - 30 (Westwood)

I know this is a long shot but you got my attention. I was the gorgeous Latina girl with long curly hair, having a drink at the bar and you asked me if the seat next to me was taken. You were with your gf/wife and after 10 min or so you asked me if the food was good there. Tell me what I answered to you. I think that you are handsome and your voice attracted me. I would like to get to know you better if you are interested

 

Turn ons: Girls that refer to themselves as gorgeous and are indifferent to whether a guy is in a relationship. Turn offs: My turn ons. What a horrible bitch. Go find someone else who isn't taken if you're so goddamn gorgeous and quit being such an amoral hoe bag. "Your voice attracted me." SHUT UP. 

 

To the person who folded my laundry... - mw4mw - 27 (City of Hope village)

I want to thank you for saving my clothing I accidentally forgot in the dryer at city of hope village. And not just that you folded all my clothes INCLUDING my under ware how embarrassing...i asked security to let me inside as I seen today my load was missing...so it was there since Friday afternoon. THANK YOU! if you see this tell me what kinds of clothes I had in there...would love to chat.

 

I leave you all with this little nugget of hope. There are good, decent people who will not only forego stealing your clothes, but will fold them for you (underwear included). I like posts like this. This person only has gratitude and they're not looking to finger this person or trying to set up a threesome for them and their spouse. It's great. However, I have one little nagging question. Why do they want to chat with this person? How's that conversation going to go? "Hey, you're the person that folded my laundry for me?" "Yeah." "Thank you!....Catch you later." Will you discuss folding techniques? Whether or not they noticed your skid marks? The benefits of permanent press? 

That's about all I have for you. I'll leave you with this: Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. - Mark Twain. Hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July!