Cyber Teeth Tigers

What is the haps in Internet town, my people? It's Monday and I think we all like to start off the week with a nice healthy breakfast, a positive attitude and laughing at people who post things on Craigslist missed connections.

To my neighbor - m4w (los angeles)

I see you and yo see me every once in a while i want to talk to you but can't build up the nerves to lol  

What did this accomplish? Hmmm? This is like a fart in a hurricane. The only reason I noticed it is because I'm a nice sensitive person who takes the time to read everything on the internet. But I'm glad you can laugh about your cowardice! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

BBQ from Lenny - m4w - 31 - 31

BBQ

I luh bad bitches, thas my fuckn problem
N singin' Tattoo 2 u - stupid song came true
bunch a songs came true now
and a book
we never made it to marfa
i miss u n wish i could change all this with my mind

love,
kokiri 

 

This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever written to BBQ. Maybe not anyone, but certainly from Lenny. "I luh bad bitches" More like you "luh" shitty grammar, ass-hat. "bunch of songs..." I can't stop laughing at this. What does that mean? Bunch of songs came true now? AND a book? What the fuck does that MEAN?!? Which songs? What one particular book? Please don't let it be The Stand. That book sucked. "I miss u..." I think we all wish we could change things with our minds. I'd change the ending of Die Hard 2. Wait...yes. Die Hard 2, I'm right. How can anyone NOT love Kokiri?

redhead in ralphs with daughter - m4w (koreatown)

 you were in ralphs with your daughter on saturday. I think shes your daugther. you had on gray sweat pants. You are cute! I would like to get to know you if you are single! Or just be friends

Here's my impression of this guy, "I'm going to make a statement about you and then hedge my bet immediately. I love your unflattering pants! I want a relationship with you, of any kind!" Pretty spot on, right? Now here's my Walken...But seriously, sweat pants? Why mention the sweat pants? And you can't put an exclamation point on "if you are single" and then blandly put "Or Just be friends" at the end. We call that a cop out. Like that movie with Bruce Willis and Tracey Jordan. It's a craigslist missed connection. Even anonymously you're a pussy. Redhead doesn't go for that. She needs someone strong for her and her possible daughter. Sack up!

And now, the CROWN FUCKING JEWEL:

hot sex with hot sax player - m4w - 49 (northridge ca / csun) - 49

avail to host tonite if soon otherwise sunday afternoon or nite , or possibly during the week- my place or yours
check me out on you tube- 30 videos-"fred horn" have been porn photographer for 10 years up to 2006, and produced and performed in
porn videos.

I can blow some horn and serenade you if you desire.Also can show you how to play keyboards , sax ,flute ,drums to break the ice. 

So holy shit. First things first: click on "fred horn" up there. Do it. This is all lost if you don't. This is a real live person who real live exists and real live plays the sax. You don't have to watch all of it, but sweet christ it is a treat. Oh, man. I'm laugh-crying. When I saw the headline, I didn't realize this was someone describing themselves as a hot sax player. (All I can think of is this.) He can blow some horn, man! Some sweet sexy horn, blown all over you! Not comfortable on his velour couch yet?  He'll mix you a vodka Red Bull and show you how to play keyboards, sax, flute or even the drums! He can do it all, man! (Surely not all 4!) What kind of man is this? The kind that drives a '73 Charger, real sexy slow through a sexy parking lot. The kind of man that takes pride in his decade long porn photography/performance career. Sign me the fuck up for some sexy sax classes with this smooth mother fucker. He has probably blown so much horn and gotten so much horn blown poon, you could fill a life boat on the Love Ship Sexy Sax. Is this my new favorite real live person? Yes, thank you.

And with that, I leave you for now. Don't cry. We'll always have Steady Fready...