Tales of the Funky

Greetings on this fine Wednesday. Recently (yesterday) I discovered (was given by an industrious friend) and article that is all about missed connections (missed connections). I'll link you to it here. Basically it shows the distribution, by state, of all the Craigslist missed connections. See:

Some interesting findings there. I think this is more indicative of the type of people who post missed connections than a comment on the states. But for funsies, let's do a break down where I can show off my stereotype knowledge of each place:

Alabama - Wal mart - Ha! It was either going to be Wal mart or a jug band concert.
Alaska - Super Store - I don't know what a "Super Store" is, but I'm more surprised that anyone leaves their house. It's cold 13 months out of the year there...
Arizona - LA Fitness - I have no opinion of the people of Arizona, so I'll just say that it's hot there.
Arkansas - Wal mart - What did you expect?
California - 24 Hour Fitness - I'm sure across the entire state there's a little more variation. In the south and north, of course the gym. In the middle of the state, though, I'd figure more meth labs/methadone clinics.
Colorado - Gas station - It's only "gas station" because all the hash bars aren't up and running yet. Or they are and this is code.
Connecticut - Stop and Shop - Fuck you, Connecticut.
Delaware - Convenience Store - Jesus Christ, you're boring, Delaware.
Florida - Walmart - Two observations: 1) I always forget (and then am reminded somehow) that Florida is a southern state and 2) Florida looks like a penis.
Georgia - The car - No matter how you interpret it... Georgia, you are creeping me the fuck out.
Hawaii - The beach - No shit.
Idaho - Walmart - I guess "Potato Harvest Socials" aren't in vogue anymore.
Illinois - Train - All I can think of are jokes about gangsters in the 1920's...to hell with you, Illinois.
Indiana - At home - This just made my boner go away.
Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, New Hampshire, Maine, Kentucky, Wisconsin - Super market - Shut up. No. Listen to me. Shut up. You sad, lonely mother fuckers need to go other places. No one finds love at the super market. NO ONE.
Kansas - McDonalds - I'm assuming this is a McDonalds INSIDE of a Walmart.
Louisiana, Missouri, New Mexico, Montana, West Virginia, North Carolina, Texas, Mississippi - Walmart - This is getting tedious. Mostly because the joke is the same for all these places. Your state sucks, all you have is Walmart, blah blah blah. One quick note about Mississippi, though. They JUST ratified the 13th Amendment (the one abolishing slavery). "Just" meaning "last week". So I expected more missed connections from slave auctions.
Maryland - Park - I've seen the Wire, so all the missed connections must be set ups for drug deals.
Massachusetts, New York - Subway - Look at you, with your mass transit that isn't terrible. Whoopty fucking doo.
Nevada - Casinos - This is the only one I don't understand.
New Jersey - Train - Uggggggh. There are so many staaaaaates...
Everywhere Else - Who gives a fuck - You get the point, right? It's what I've been saying from the get go. Missed connections are written by sad, desperate people who shop at Walmart and look for love in their cars and their homes.

Rock on, party people.