Don't drink the Kool-Aid. Drink the milk!

I gotta say, soccer players are pussies. I've been watching the World Cup for the past 5 days and I have seen more people rolling around on the ground bawling than at the Rolling Around and Bawling Convention. (August 15th in Des Moines, get your tickets!) I know what you're going to ask: why are you watching the games then? Because fuck you. I'm doing research into why this is the world's most popular sport and so far all I can figure is that the world is populated by jerks. To take a break from all the inanity, I poked around Craigslist missed connections and found some real gems.

guy lets talk dirty - t4m - 19 (bell gardens)

Lets meeet at a park nd have some hot public sex ;)
Or lets just get down nd dirty

 

There were some pictures that accompanied this post, but I didn't want to look at them longer than I had to, so YOU'RE WELCOME. I guess what's bothering me about this post is that if having sex in public doesn't constitute getting down and dirty in this persons mind, what does? Maybe fucking on a pile of garbage at a Toby Keith concert? I dunno. There's just no pleasing some people.

 

Walmart - m4w

You had to be the most beautiful women I have ever seen

You were a mom with your little one (I assume your a single mother considering I don't see a ring on your finger)

You were tall , brown or black hair

You were wearing flip flops

Gorgeous long toes

And you have the most beautiful feet I have ever seen

I saw you from a distance and I was attracted

Hope you see this post, would love to email yo

 

You just KNOW when a post starts at Walmart that it's going to be quality. This almost reads like a poem. A poem about long, gorgeous toes and beautiful feet. I mean, to read it you'd think the guy never even saw her face. He barely can tell what color her hair was. Although "I saw you from a distance" can be anywhere up to and including one mile, and Walmarts are pretty huge. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 7 out of 10 on the creepy Walmart guy scale. (No one scores below a 7)

 

Backstreet boy Concert Thursday night may 29th - m4w (The Forum)

Yes I was there , I went with a couple of female friends of mine

And me me being a 90's guy , I loved the show and the performance , it was amazing I gotta say

But I gotta say this one female caught my attention , she was wearing flip flops , well honestly the only girl I saw in flip flops ...

She could have been white or Hispanic

Age from 18-27 wasn't sure

But gotta admit so cute yet Gorgeous

And amazing feet in those flip flops

If your her I would love to here from you

And a quick quiz , AJ spoke about his wife coming down the aisle to a guns and roses song , which song did he mention ?

Please reply with answer and pix

Thanx !!!!! 

 

Holy shit it's the same guy and he was at a Backstreet Boys concert. Come the fuck on with the flip flops already. I think he has a problem. I can guess the song AJ's wife came down the aisle to; Welcome to the Jungle because she's fucking lame, just like the Backstreet Boys. Moving on...

 

Met you two at that bar - m4ww

You two were standing by the bar having a drink. I remember my jaw dropping when I saw you. Two white girls in your early 20s, one blonde, one brunette, both had great bodies with big natural boobs. I was really taken aback when I started talking to the two of you; you were really open and friendly. Funny too. After our third round of drinks one of you hinted to me that we could continue our little party at a nearby hotel for a price. I was tempted but I said no since I've never paid for it before. I really, really regret that now. If you see this and are still working, tell me which one of you mentioned the hotel idea. And which hotel it was. I'd love to make this happen. 

 

This is the saddest post I've ever seen. Only because this poor bastard doesn't know how to find other hookers. They're not the only ones, my man. And they're all friendly and open (Wide open, AM I RIGHT?!?) And I have to go on record here: I love women's breasts. Tits, boobs, cans, etc. Whatever you want to call them, I love them. But whenever someone is trying to be articulate they can't put "big natural boobs". That's what an eight year old and his friends would write if they were trying to write erotic fan fiction about Wendy Woodpecker or whatever kids are into these days.

Hope the rest of your week is amazing. Enjoy the rest of the Copa Mundial 2014 arriba! Gooooooooooooooooooooooooal!